Many times when spiritually accompanying women experiencing infertility, the question of adoption comes up and often it’s a gray area for them. They don’t know if they really feel like they are supposed to adopt or not, but it feels like the only way they can have a family since our faith is so restrictive on fertility treatments.
I want to talk about this topic because I believe that I have truly received a call to adopt, and I think there’s a difference between receiving a call to adopt and feeling like adoption is the only way to build the family you desire because of your faith tradition and morals (a “should”).
As a child, I was always drawn to books about orphans. There was a particular compassion and empathy I had for the children I met in books without parents. Later in high school, I had a homeroom teacher I was close to who couldn’t have children and they successfully adopted a baby boy and girl. Then, I wanted to be a social worker (that never happened).
Then in my twenties and thirties, we started meeting more couples who adopted to build and round out their families. My brother married my sister in law who has two adopted siblings. One of my husband’s good friends has an adopted child. It seemed that my husband and I were surrounded by examples of adoption in our lives.
Eventually, God placed the call on my heart that this was something He wanted me to do, and the desire in me grew. The words “adopt,” adoption,” and “caring for the orphan” started to stick out in Scripture as it never had before. One day, my husband and I randomly went on the Catholic Charities website one day and found a video of our names as a foster/adoption story!
The signs started adding up and an adopted child became part of the vision for my family and then God got even more specific: He wanted me to adopt a son.
Has it happened yet? No. Do I believe I’m on the path to? Yes.
I share all this because adoption is not a cure for infertility. It is a definitive call like every call to fruitfulness, a call that I think God was planting throughout my life.
You’ll know you’re called to adoption when you feel that call, the desire grows within you, and God makes it clear that this is your path.
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