If Not This, Then What is God’s Purpose for My Life?

A question that comes up very frequently with women in waiting is, “If not this, then what is God’s purpose for my life?”

Many women in waiting feel called to a particular vocation and path in life such as being a wife, being a mother, having a particular career, or being a consecrated person. Their call and vocation seemed clear to them, but then the results of their walk of faith toward that call didn’t yield the result they thought it would… at least not yet. As years pass, understandably so, they begin to question what God’s purpose for their life is.

As a spiritual director, companion, and coach, and as someone who has uniquely experienced this situation myself, this is a really difficult spiritual conundrum to work through. I don’t have the answers, but here’s what I do know:

1. I know that God places good desires in us. He desires our ultimate joy and happiness. His plans are always good. But this doesn’t always match our definition of good. We have to grow into understanding His definition of what is good for us.
   

2. I know that fulfilling our desires can lead us down windy paths of healing, growing intimacy with God, forms of service, redemption, and other good things that we never intended. The fruit of the path may not be our intended desire, but has indeed resulted in good fruits for our lives.
   

3. I know that many of those desires do come to pass sometimes in ways surprising to us. But I also know that all of our desires and joy may not come to pass until the life to come and somehow the incompleteness of our lives on earth can point to that.
   

4. I know that when we feel a certainty of direction and purpose, and peacefulness in it, that this is usually of God. But it also may not be of God. It may be an attachment to our own will. These are hard to discern. Time and prayer will reveal which it is.
   

5. I know that we each have a unique purpose in this world and we can look to our gifts, talents, passions, and opportunities to find that purpose. Look at what God has given you now. God never wants you to feel without purpose. Your life is full of meaning! Ask and God will make known your special purpose. The hardest part for you may be: Are you open to it if it doesn’t match the purpose you had in mind for yourself?

I hope these answers help you process this difficult question of purpose that women in waiting face.