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Changing Focus in Grief, Disappointment, and Anger

When we are waiting, we tend to focus on what we want and what we’re not getting from God. As people of faith we need to shift that focus to what we can give and what we have been given. This shift in focus can help any grief, disappointment, and anger we may be carrying about our existing challenges and circumstances.


When I was deeply struggling with the grief of infertility, I sought the advice of a counselor and doing service was something she recommended to help me get my mind off of the struggle. Similarly, my mother told me to focus on my gifts and talents and all that God had given me in that realm. As I did more of that, I became more grateful for what I did have and more focused on what I could give vs. get out of life.


Beyond grief, not having what you want can also lead to anger, and you know what the solution to anger over life’s disappointments and unanswered prayers is? I was surprised to learn that it’s gratitude and praise! Praising God for His goodness constantly. Being grateful for your blessings and calling them to mind frequently. Prayer techniques to help you do this are Liturgy of the Hours, praise and worship music, and an evening Examen that includes gratitude.


If you’re stuck in a mental rut of grief, disappointment, and/or anger, consider this shift in perspective: What can I give to others? What are my blessings? What good has God done for me?


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