I was touched by the recent blog post “Obedient Unto Sickness” of Mother Petra of Christ the Bridegroom order. She explains that it is a common experience to become ill upon beginning a vocation in religious life, and that illness teaches us obedience. She writes:
“So often, it can seem that illness is an impediment to “real” life—keeping us from fully participating in liturgical prayer or other forms of asceticism, from fasting or keeping vigils to the extent we would desire, from accomplishing as much work as we would prefer, from accepting invitations to give talks or spiritual direction. Yet isn’t this thwarting of personal expectation, desire, and preference the very definition of asceticism? Bishop Benedict Aleksiychuk of Chicago recently commented to us that illness is an asceticism the Lord is giving us; we are not choosing it. Therefore, it is a better asceticism because there is no self-will in it, but rather has the purity of coming direct from the mind of God”.
As someone with a long-term condition, this REALLY resonated with me. Medical problems are not our choosing and prevent us from doing the many things that we want to do for God and to live a fulfilling life.
But so are other issues… like infertility, being unable to find a good spouse, a long-term significant other taking a long time to pop the question, encountering obstacles in your path to a vocation, mental health struggles, and so many others that we don’t will ourselves, but rather are impediments to fruitfulness we desire.
What are your impediments to “real” life? Are they the things you are waiting for? Are they obstacles that have shown up as you wait for what you desire?
Consider that these may in fact be God’s asceticism(s) for us right now because they are not things we are choosing as sacrifices. Rather, they may be God’s choices for us. Maybe God is asking for a willing sacrifice of that pain and suffering in your waiting right now. Maybe God will transform that suffering into a source of redemption in the future.
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